meagre thoughts

I was so close. So close. He was sweet, funny, charming … then I found that he only wanted gratification from me. Heart shattering.

Why does this have to happen so frequently? Is that all I’m good for, pleasure? Not having sex with you suddenly means that I’m worth nothing, right? Damn. Once I say “no”, you have nothing to do with me. Done. I don’t even exist to you. 

I have never felt more like an object. Most guys will refuse to appreciate me unless I can give them what they want. Guys hardly respect me. They think it’s shameful and ludicrous that I won’t “have fun”. When will I find a real man, one who can see me as a human being? This world is so corrupt.

I don’t even want to exist right now.